oh boy

I had my first dead serious anxiety attack a few days ago. Now I know what everyone is talking about. The worst thing I've ever felt in my life. Worse than any break up, worse than a funeral. THE WORST FEELING IMAGINABLE! Thus far, a spouse of 50 years dying might feel worse, but I'm 33 and single so I can't fathom that. Seriously debilitating. I am not a man who cries unless there is a very good reason, and if no one is around. I have wanted to cry several times in the past 6 months, but I don't let myself feel despair.

I talked to everyone I know well about this anxiety attack and a few of them advised me to let myself feel it, for a time and cry. Cry to the point of a face full of snot and drool and hyperventilating. Tonight I did, it was orgasmic. Sometimes you need to cry, if you're single and live alone no one will witness it and form an opinion. A perk I just discovered.

Hopefully more upbeat posts to follow, need I remind you reader how much I hate the fucking winter.