Why I'm here.

I'm starting this blog to record my experience as a man in his early thirties who has had a string of back to back long term, failed relationships. I've been single and since the end of June 2008. My then girlfriend of three years broke up with me for reasons which aren't necessary to go into here being as this is about my single life. 

 

 In the last six months I've been trying my best to maintain single status. However as is in my nature I always seem to veer towards attachment. It has happened twice now. The first was a catastrophe and I really hurt someones feelings. The second I'm in the middle of now, and formulating a plan for a discreet exit. 

The point of my trying maintain single status is to change the pattern that has held true my entire adult life. A pattern which is flawed. I want to have a better understanding of myself without the pretense of a relationship to influence my behavior.  I want to have as much fun as possible without concern for another and utterly live my life on my terms only. Also I want to really be open for the possibility of meeting the woman that is genuinely right for me. Not just someone who I found a mutual attraction and enough common interests to date with regularity. There's not enough decision in that scenario. Its shallow and primarily based on, proximity, ego, and loneliness.  That and I am Thirty two and have only been single for two years spread around four relationships in the last fourteen years, including a failed marriage.