Ex Bomb

Lately I've been feeling increasingly happier each day. The weather is turning to spring, I'm growing more comfortable inside my skin, I have an out of town fling going on, I'm going to Paris, etc. I'm generally feeling enlivened and looking forward to the coming months. 

Naturally the cosmic GPS has alerted my ex to my upbeat vibe so that she can interrupt my life and shit all over it. It started with an awkward run in. She was at one of my usual spots with some friends specifically a dude named Shadow (his "real" name is just as absurd, so no exaggeration). Shadow is your typical cyber/goth tool box who was a player in our break up.  This didn't phase me too bad honestly. I've been busy in the seeing new people department, Philly is a small town. We exchanged a few how are you doing pleasantries and that was it. Until the next day when I got a "lets get a drink" text (she quit drinking). Not wanting to come off as in any way phased by our run in I agreed. I proceeded to get hammered as I do prior to any unwanted conversation with a girl. We met, I got more hammered. The conversation migrated toward her explaining "how much she misses me, nothing is going on with Shadow, I still love you, I made a mistake" blah blah. I stopped it by saying I'm willing to attempt being friends and that's it.

The following day I got an enormous email full of all the fabricated clarity of hindsight. I didn't respond. The next day I got some wacky texts to remind me of how funny she still is. Yesterday I got a phone call seeing if I wanted to see a movie with her. CRAZY!!! She's really not crazy, or pathetic, she's really stepping out of character here. I text " I'm willing (but as a rule don't) to try being just friends but I need you to back off." 

I'm doubt I will take an active role in that friendship at this point in time. Obviously its too soon or impossible.  I'm not super upset or tempted to get involved with her at all. However, my mood in general has taken a dive. All the positives in my life that I'm trying to focus on and build from feel lack-luster. All the negative more apparent. Its fucking bullshit.

This isn't the first time she's managed to stick her ass in my face when things begin to go well for me. She has a super power for sensing it every time it seems. I really don't want to be a jerk to her, I hope it won't come to that. I can't have her disrupting my life again.